Complicated

I have never been one to share the more serious of my poems. But lately I have been letting go of them one by one... There probably is no point in keeping them all piled up in any case, I suppose. So I've decided that every now and then I'll post a poem here.

The one I'm going to post now is an uber-angsty poem from ages ago. I remember it was a particularly difficult night when I penned it. So many things have changed since that night... Then again, not really...

Hate

I hate what has become of this world

I hate the unfairness that comes with it

I hate all the sharp words that are hurled

I hate how through my heart they cut a slit

I hate it when you look right through me

I hate why I can’t understand that you want to be distant

I hate that you can’t see the person I want to be

I hate how towards me you are so silent

I hate the way you knowingly hurt my feelings

I hate the fact that what you feel you show.

I hate how I will never be able to tell you these things

I hate that it seems like you already know

Yeahhhh.. So it's rather childish and very pessimistic, but HEY! It was a rough night. =P

While reading this poem before posting it, I realized that we humans end up complicating things no end! What could be conveyed in a simple, direct manner, we choose to make absolutely twisted just to regret the whole darn thing eventually.

On a personal level, it's happened to me quite a few times that I might have quite a few feelings to convey to a person, but for some reason or the other, I choose to put it off till it'stoo late. Sometimes it's because I'm scared of rejection, sometimes because I don't want to intentionally or unintentionally hurt anyone. The worst case is when I'm plain too lazy to take initiative. Quite a lot of a us will even be familiar with the whole ego hassle angle. We don't want to be the one that blinks first. Let the other party take some action, I'm just going to sit pretty till they do/say something - that seems to be the exact rotten attitude that ruins many a good bond.

It's hypocritical of me to continue being wary of approaching a person with my opinions or feelings (depending on the situation) despite having the intelligence and maturity to make the right decision. It still makes me just as nervous as before to take a stand, especially when it comes to relationships that matter a whole lot to me.

It's ironic how Man has invented countless gadgets to simplify his day-to-day life and yet numerous people today need therapy to sort out their complicated emotional lives.